Meet the Dreadnecks.

lucien heatherstone

On a recent anthropological survey of the Rogue River valley of southern Oregon, I discovered an unknown culture living in the native vegetative structure. The Dreadnecks, rumored to be among the lost tribe of Judah, were sent into exile after the Assyrians totally maimed the kingdom of Isreal back in the dizzay BC.

Bama

They have been living right outside Grants Pass untouched by the outside world for millennia. As an observer of their annual Solstice Festival, I noted many aspects of their culture.

Immediately visible was their self-sustaining organic gardens, meditation temples and feral children. But it was their true nature revealed when the chainsaws, monster trucks, epic wooden waterslides, drunken skateboarding and debauchery began.

One thing was obvious: these Natty Dreadlocks were total Rednecks. Before I met the Dreadnecks, a grafting of two cultures so incongruent, and often hostile to one another, seemed impossible. The Dreadlock stands for everything the Redneck detests, and vice-versa.

What I’ve learned is that a culture left on its own can mutate and change in ways unfathomable. This is mainly for survival, but also for the enjoyment/destruction of nature, the conservation/depletion of resources, and the pure thrill of good old fashioned Hippie/Redneckery.

Eric Von Prizen

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