The results from a nationwide study are in, and the projections for stay-at-home boyfriends are at an all-time low for the first quarter
of 2009. A sagging economy, rising sales in X-Box 360′s and a growing demographic of women who are refusing to pay their boyfriend’s cell phone bill have all contributed to this unprecedented crisis.
Our report suggests that there are other factors involved as well, like a record number of women who no longer find laziness endearing. As one disgruntled girlfriend put it, “A boyfriend who stays in bed just isn’t any good in bed.”
Stay-At-Home Boyfriends of America have responded to this crisis with a statement defending their lifestyle. Consistently warm beds, reliable mailbox service and codependent companionship were all cited as benefits to stay-at-home boyfriendism.
“Is this really what women want?” said a newly single stay-at-home boyfriend, “To come home to an empty house with food in the refrigerator and no dishes in the sink? These women are going to wake up cold, fat and unfulfilled next winter.”
Women are expected to stick with this new trend and are also set to release a new list of demands for boyfriends this summer. Preliminary data points to higher standards in male life and career planning, the rejection of the term “freelance” as an official employment status and a return to the “male payment” method of dating, shopping and apartment rental.
hehehe.
this recession is on our side…
http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/2009-01-11-unemployment-rate-sexes_N.htm
This was hilarious. Keep writing this stuff! Thanks for being the only one who still reads my blog. I’m going to give it a makeover–to celebrate its 3rd birthday.